Wednesday, 21 December 2016

tata 2016?

2016 will soon leave us. i haven't finalise my new year resolution.

so what should be the ideal and realistic new year resolutions for me? 

adoi! for sure.. running will be in the list. bucket list maybe!

Friday, 25 November 2016

new chapter

woke up in the morning with the new chapter in life. time flies. u r someone that i dont know now.

u dont need me anymore. or in actual fact.. u never needed me in ur life. 

its true that people change. and little that i realise this hurt me much. it hurt me badly. so badly.

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Hati yang kau sakiti

You broke my heart into pieces sampai saya tak tau macamana nak cantum balik. Sampai saya tak tau macamana baikinya. Sampai saya tak tau nak buat apa..

Hati saya hancur berkecai awak buat.. Saya tak tau macamana nak hadap awak.. 

Kenapa keputusan itu yang awak buat? Kenapa? Awak dah betul2 fikir? Apa yang awak nak sebenarnya?

Awak.. Saya betul-betul kecewa dengan awak.. 

Tahun ke 10 tanpa ayah.. Ayah.. i wish u here.. I really really wishhhhh..

Friday, 4 November 2016


sometimes.. i just dont understand myself..

sometimes.. i just dont know what to do..

sometimes.. im torn between reality and fantasy..


Wednesday, 26 October 2016

everybody have their own life to live. period.

Saturday, 15 October 2016


waiting is killing. so stop waiting and eventually u wont kill urself.

Friday, 14 October 2016

what i want now?

someone asked me. 'after all, what do u want now?'

my answer was.. 'a companion of life. and a simple life'

what more important to me is a companion of life. 

when u go back home, u feel happy. not dragging urself to home. someone to talk to when u feel like talking. someone to nag to when u feel like nagging. 

dont let anyone decide urlife. u decide what do u want.

Friday, 3 June 2016

Another date in another year..

I am a year wiser. hope so! 

Thank u to those who wish me yesterday. I'm so touched. Seriously. I did'nt reveal my birth date on FB. So there is no notification pop out yesterday. Somehow.. there are people who remember my birth date. 

Only those who knew you well does not need FB to remind you your birth date. 

Once again, from the bottom of my heart.. thank you for all the wishes.  I'm so blessed that I have all of you as my family and friends.

To my BFF, UZ. Thank you for the super duper expensive candle! Yes! I don't need a cake when I have a Red Velvet Cupcake Candle. Hehehe..

To my Hannim, Anja, Kakak, Hana and Izz. Thank you for the suprise.  Indeed i'm suprise! Eventhought the cake is lousy, but the thought is count ok!

To Fyda. Thank you for the wish. Our friendship does not count with gift but it count by our sincerity.

To Mama, Kaka, Amad, Mira, Icat and Kak Long. Thank you for the wishes.

To my NPD Ladies Counterpart. Hahaha.. Its ok you guys does not remember my birth date! Dont feel guilty ok! Anyway! Thank you for the wishes guys! And gossips!

To my DBA friends. Thank you for the wishes even we just knew each other..

To my Kelas Atasan Friends. Thank you for the wishes. We are not always togather but we know we have each other..

To AAS. Thank you for the bouquet and dinner and gelato! Oh not forgotten.. You owe my pressieeeee!! Hahaha.

All in all. It just another date in another year.. I'm blessed and happy even i've to go through the sleepless nights.. the endless stress.. But i know.. i'm not alone...

Sunday, 22 May 2016

i flop!

this entry is wrote on 20.4.2016 . due to some error it doesnt publish. sigh! and i just notice it today.


do u know what is the most teribble feelings?

when you flop your test. not all people have that kind of feeling but i do. 

being no so popular child.. being the most tak pandai child.. will make u have that feeling..

u tried ur best to be like your pandai siblings.. but somehow.. u always failed ur exam.. u didnt manage to get all the A's in the exam.. 

and it will hunt u.. wherever and whenever u r.. even u has the highest cert compared to ur siblings now.. it hunt u.. the feelings..

note: i flopped my test last nite! im so down and demoralise. 

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

bila orang tanya..

bila orang tanya aku.. aku sambung blajar apa.. as in aku ambik course apa.. honestly.. aku malu nak jawab kat orang tu yang aku sedang buat doctrate..

bukan sebab aku nak tunjuk pandai atau pura-pura bak low profile ke.. sesungguhnya tidak.. tapi.. lebih kepada

1. aku segan nak bagitau orang.. buatnya aku withdraw?? nauzubillah! mintak-mintak dijauhkan..
2. aku tak suka nak bg org pikir aku pandai sedangkan aku tak pernah rasa aku pandai.. haih! i wonder how i survived during my MBA's days
3. aku tak pernah rasa doctrate ni sesuatu yang perlu dibanggakan.. dulu ya.. aku bangga dapat buat degree.. sebab tujuan aku masa tu lain.. sekarang ni tujuan aku lebih kepada nak dapatkan ilmu.. nak belajar.. nak manfaatkan ilmu..
4.  aku tak rasa perkataan doctrate tu perlu di bold italic blink blink font 72! aku tiru ayat dr kamril tu.. aku setuju dengan dia.. buat doctrate ni lebih kepada merendah diri.. bukan nak tunjuk hebat.. habis belajar pun belum lagi dik non.. tak payah nak lagak sangat..

hang in there Net! the journey just started..

Saturday, 5 March 2016

Bali Revisited 27 Feb - 3 Mar 2016

Finally im on vacation! lalalalalala

its an unplanned trip. we booked the tickets on November 2015. Yeah! it cost us fortune for the tickets. 

Even qoutes said that 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Somehow unplanned thingy could turn out to something great and memorable... ehem ehem! this is not apply to all occassion ya!

Here are the things that we did in Bali..

Day 0
arrived in bali nearly 10pm. my flight was delayed 10mins. so the other fella have to wait for me.. our tourist guide waited for us at the airport and send us to our hotel, Kuta Eco Stay, Jalan Pantai, Kuta. we are very lucky tho! the hotel surrounded with nightlife in Kuta.  since we arrived nearly midnight and hungry, so we decided to buy some foods and drinks at the mini mart nearby. oh ya! it is a budget hotel.

Day 1
no breakfast (we are cheapskate. we just ate bread we bought from the minimart)

our journey starts at 9am and our first destination is batu bulan watching barong dance.  the entrance fee is rp100k per head.  the barong play represent an eternal fight between good and evil spirits.

next is tegallalan located at ubud.  tegallalan rice terrace or sawah padi bertingkat. after snap some photos, we moved to kintamani to have our lunch with the volcano view.  the entrance fee per head is rp20k.

after we have our dinner we go to mani abian also at kintamani.  it is a coffee shop selling coffee such as coffee bali, varieties of tea and coffee luwak

we end the tour day and arrived at the hotel 6.30pm.  since its still early, me and my roommate decided to stroll around Jalan Pantai, Kuta.

my tourist guide said McD, KFC and Burger King are halal in Bali.  yes! i bought McD for dinner.

Day 2
ate McD leftover for breakfast.

Day 2 is our beach day.  we said to our tourist guide just bring us to any beach in Bali.  so he brought us to tanjung benoa.  it is a sailing and paragliding location activities.  since we are not into that, we decided to go to other places.

then he brought us pantai nusa dua, free entrance.  pandawa beach, entrance fee rp10, dreamland beach entrance fees rp10.  the wheather is toooooooo hot! we give up on pantai.  oh ya! we didnt mandi at the beach.

since it is still early, we asked the tourist guide to bring us to any mall.  we need air conditioner!  its too heaty.

then we moved to uluwatu to watch the kecak dance.  entrance fee to enter uluwatu is rp20 and rp100k to watch the kecak dance.  kecak dance is kind of ritual dance.

then, we had dinner at jimbaran beach.  the food is so so.  nothing to shock about.  however the view and the service is superb! personally, to me Sandakan is the best place for seafood dinner.

Day 3
as usual.  breakfast on the go.

first to tanah lot.  snap photo. thats all.

after that to den pasar for shoooooooping!!!  agung bali and krishna is a place to shop for souvenir. you dont need to bargain. its fixed price and its cheap.

we end the day with strolling at Jalan Pantai, Kuta and guess what.. we had dinner at Jamie Oliver's restaurant!

Day 4
back to Malaysia!

and here are the cost per person for lodging and transport:-
flight ticket - RM480
hotel - RM100
transport - RM100

Sunday, 14 February 2016

journey to DBA

since i wish to write my DBA journey in details.. i hv prepared a journal.


ha! nampak tak semangat sem pertama.. 

Saturday, 13 February 2016

a student again!

finally a student again! my fourth times registered as a college student..

i arrived at UiTM on quarter to 10am.  then after some lost while finding the location finally managed to locate the main entrance of Dewan Agong Tuanku Chansellor where all the process begun..

i skipped bursary counter.. payment made yesterday at bank islam.. so i dont need to que for the counter..

i only need to go to counter faculty, counter ID card and finally the counter where i have to submit all the documents..

frankly, i dont know what's ahead.. redah je.. it may look easy but its not as easy as what your eyes seen..

my first time registered as UiTM student.. hahahah! the best part.. im the only one who came with fitflop! it didnt mention any attire on the website or anywhere.. so i just wore shirt, jeans and fitflop.. nasib tak pakai short dress! 

first pressure i gain today is.. the class will starts on 29 Feb 2016.. oh my anya!! im suppose to be on a vacation!

can u see that?? the class havent started  but i felt the pressure already.. to choose bali or class..

knowing myself.. i will definitely let go bali.. i dont mind loosing the ticket.. but i cant afford missing the class.. bali will be there forever (ayat penyedap hati)..

to come to this stage is not an easy journey to me.. it's a very long journey.. not forgotten the tears and sweats.. i hope i can make it through again this time..

this is not my dream at first.. this is not even my dream now instead.. but this is the journey i choose.. 

this is part of the life i've created!

Wednesday, 3 February 2016


2 hari membaca satu naskah yang entah.. tak tau nak side sape.. nak side El atau nak side Dani.. El yang awalnya macam gangster.. dan Dani dengab cara Dani yang cool dan kadang tak tau nak describe.. mmg macam tu kot cara laki berpikir..

seriously.. kalau aku di tempat El.. tak tau nak react macamana bile Dani buat endah tak endah.. bila Dani tiba-tiba berubah.. mungkin aku rasa aku dah kawin dengan orang yang salah.. mungkin aku dah lari balik Malaysia.. ya lah.. aku kan heartless..

dengan naskah ni jugak aku tau apa itu Bell's Palsy.. tak tau pun penyakit tu wujud.. 

buku ketiga milik Rin Ahmad yang aku baca.. gaya bahasa yang sangat santai.. and straight to the point.. takde flowery flowery.. walaupun ada part conversation dalam bahasa omputih yang aku tak paham.. 

Rin Ahmad.. u r my cup of tea.. and i hope u will always be..

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Clean Breakfast

day 3 of eat clean breakfast for new year. pheww!! what a challenge thou to those who HATE and CANT eat oats.

i've started with oat + yoghurt + honey + strawberry + grapefruit + milk. ok this is so not my flavour! i hate the milk taste!!

then i've tried oat + greek yoghurt + honey + banana + chocolate milk.. fuh!! finally i found my flavour. 

today i've tried oat + papaya + honey + chocolate milk..

what i've learn from this exercise is.. identify your flavour. u shouldnt drag and force yourself to do something u dislike the most.. 

btw.. i still love nasi lemak and roti canai!

day 1

day 2

day 3

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

declutter and donate!

since i've plan for moving out to my own house which i gave myself a deadline.. i have to make this happen by June 2016, so during the long weekend i decided to sort my things.

yeah! its not easy for the ultimate undomestic goddes to to the sorting. well.. u know.. its kind 'should i keep or shouldn't i feeling'.

ehemm! i started with my so called craft room which in actual fact it turn out to be my another store.

i managed to put a side things i should donate and things i should sell. even after the cleaning up process i still left with tonnes of crap! hahaha

see! see! i labeled the boxes.. i put my sewing machines in its boxes.. i sort out the bags and the paper bags.. actually i dont see any improvement before and after.. hahaha.. oh btw.. the box without the label is the donation box. i will put anything i wanna donate to that box.

all this baju are located at my craft room.. it supposed to be be all baju which i rarely use. nevertheless.. it turn out to be everything in it.. i haven't touch anything yet.. will do it later.. hmm.. i dont know which baju shud go and which baju shouldn't.

pheww! another challenge to accomplish! good luck net!

Friday, 1 January 2016

its a wrap for 2015

2015 has come to its end. how time flies.. feel like just yesterday i wrote for 2015.

yeah. its a wrap for 2015. nothing much happened.. among others are..
1. i didnt manage to buy a house.
2. my online business does not succeed.
3. i didnt buy any bag, instead i spent a lot for yarns. i have tonnes of yarns now.. hehehe
4. my working life is upside down.
5. i went to New Delhi for business trip.
6. i didnt go for any overseas vacation, instead i went to Langkawi and Cameron Highlands for a short break.
7. im crazy in love with gold jewelleries.
8. i went for DBA interview.
9. i knew how to knit.

thats are among the things i remembered.

2016. what i wish for the new year?
1. materialise my dream to own my own crib.
2. further study.
3. consistence 2nd income. im a crocheter and a knitter. (not all malaysia value hand made product.. huhu)
4. keep fit. at least join the running competition every quater.. (this is really really hard) eat clean.. in a way.. lose some weight and fat.. huh! this is like every year wish list.. hehe
5. 50gm of 916 or 999.9 
6. save for rainy days.

thats all for now. i may add what i wish for 2016 later..

Good bye 2015 and Hello 2016!