2019 la..

Time of the year again. It’s a new year. Nothing is new. I live the same life. The same environment. Everything is the same, except for yhe year.

Anyway.. It’s kinda weird if I didn’t have a new year resolutions. But before that, let’s recap!


1. Defense proposal! It’s a must I guess! If it is not in Mar, maybe June or July. Before the 5th semester end. Btw, the new house loan cost me fortune. So I have to be able to serve th loan. Hence the DBA is important to me.. 🤣

Well.. I did not managed to defence my proposal. However, I managed to write a full report of my proposal and submitted to Dr Mazz before the year ended. 

It was an achievement! Indeed it was. Even sometimes (read all the time) I lost focus on my study.. But still I managed to write something on the blank paper.


2. I wanna run at least 1 FM, 1 road Ultra and 1 trail Ultra. Ok this is sooo crazy! It’s ok if I don’t achieve this. Theres always next year.. 😑

I ran 2 FMs, I road ultra and 1 trail ultra. It was crazy! Trust me! The training, the preparation, the post event.. Everything was crazy. But I like it. Very much!

3. Vacation - 1 local destination & 1 overseas. I wanna see the world! I do not wish to stuck in my shell forever.

I went to Perlis and Yogjakarta! Wehooo!!

4. Apply Konmarie method for my cocoon I called a home.

Kihkihkih.. This is not happening..


Therefore, for another 365 days of my life.. I would like to..

1. Defence my proposal before second quarter of the year. It is a must. I need to realign and focus. Focus on how to reach the finishing line.. Oh btw, I found out that the daily planner is very helpful. I feel guilty to myself if I didn’t do anything on that day.

2. Have a winter holiday! Time to save some money dear me.. Europe trip perhaps? Or maybe Oz?

Well, that’s what I wish to happen in 365 days. Other than that, it’s a bonus..

Oh before I forgot.. #misi40kg is still on even I didn’t write it as part of my resolution. I am 45.7kg today. Let see how many kgs I lost later (macam tak boleh je ni) 

Till next posting! Happy new year everyone.

Welcome 2018

So it’s a new year. And what’s new? Well, here are my 2017 resolutions..

1. i still wanted buy a house of my own.  instead of depend on someone else to find for me, i think its time for me to do it myself.  i cannot depend on people for the rest of my life kan?

I bought a house! Finally. A dream come true? Ok maybe not! Another debts to add on to my not so perfect life.. I bought a new car too! 

2. since i am a PG, i wish i can defense my proposal by the end of 2017.

Well, I even failed to prepare my proposal. But I managed to find a supervisor. And completed the coursework. 

3. participate in 4 10km running events. lose some weight and fat..

I ran more than 4 races of 10km. I registered 20 races.. I did not lost any weight.. But I lost some fat.. For a record, I clocked 909.17km all year round. Pheww!

4. live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment of my life.

I hit the wall sometimes, and that’s normal..


And what’s for 2018?

1. Defense proposal! It’s a must I guess! If it is not in Mar, maybe June or July. Before the 5th semester end. Btw, the new house loan cost me fortune. So I have to be able to serve th loan. Hence the DBA is important to me.. 🤣

2. I wanna run at least 1 FM, 1 road Ultra and 1 trail Ultra. Ok this is sooo crazy! It’s ok if I don’t achieve this. Theres always next year.. 😑

3. Vacation - 1 local destination & 1 overseas. I wanna see the world! I do not wish to stuck in my shell forever.

4. Apply Konmarie method for my cocoon I called a home.

That’s all. What’s more important to me is.. My DBA. Focus focus and focus. Nothing else!

I'm not in a stable condition. I hit the wall. The more I run, the more it haunted me. Oh Allah, please give me strength to go true this phase.

Up and down

I've lost. For no reason. I've drown. For no reason. I've loved. For no reason. I've ignored. For no reason.

Get back up again Net. Not everything perfectly fit to what you wish.

I knew this. But I ignored.

Thank you for the sign.. 

What I talk, When I talk about running?

Blister, black toe nails, chaffing skin, tired, bonked, mental.. and the things in this world that makes me unhappy..

Very bad blister from Larian Sukan Sea. And I worsen the condition yesterday. The pain is not bearable. The most painful blister I ever had.

It's true when people said, running comes with perks. And they are all of the above.

No expectation

Since the very beginning. Don't fall into a trap. Even salts looks like sugar!

Reminder to ownself.

Ramadhan is back!

Thank you Allah for giving me another chances to meet with Ramadhan. Ramadhan reserved so much memories in my life. 

10 years without Ayah. I missed you so much dad. Really really really missed you...

I ran 21km

It's been awhile since my last posting. Not because i don't want to write, it is simply because i don't know what to write.

Last Sunday, i ran my first Half Marathon run. Yes you read it right. I ran 21km. The farthest run i had in my life.

Running to me know is like a cocaine. Very addictive, I can't have it all the time. But I ensure i run everytime I have the time.

So what makes me running? It is simply because I feel happy everytime i finish my run.  The feeling that I could'nt explain.

My disfunctional running family #teamprotonrunners . I'm glad I had a chance to know them. Definitely the greatest years and counting.. 

I ran my first 22.46km in 3hrs05min. Bonked at KM17, both legs cramp at KM19 to the finishing line. Absolutely a lesson to learn. 

Finally, 2016 ended.  365 days.  i just don't know what have i've done and achieved last year.  2016, the upside down of my days continued.  nothing much happened to me.  i still live in the same sarang burung, i drove the same car, i worked with the same company.

however, there are also great things happened even its very little.  i revisit Bali.  i further my study (even sometimes i've regretted it), i ran 140km in 2016 and participated in 9 events.  1 - 3km, 4 - 5km, 2- 6km, 1 - 10km and 1 - 12 - km.. wowww! this is crazy.  really crazy!  i can't believe that i can run and 12km is the farthest run in my live.  i'm sure that i am out of my mind..

so.. lets recap on my new year resolutions and my achievement even though nothing great happened...

2016. i wish for:-

1. materialise my dream to own my own crib. - i didnt achieve this.. i've carry forward this to so many years.. i just don't work hard for it and depends on someone else to do it for me...

2. further study. - i registered as a PG on March 2016 and in my end of first year.  congratulations!

3. consistence 2nd income. im a crocheter and a knitter. (not all malaysia value hand made product.. huhu) - i didnt take this seriously since i am busy with my study..

4. keep fit. at least join the running competition every quater.. (this is really really hard) eat clean.. in a way.. lose some weight and fat.. huh! this is like every year wish list.. hehe - i've mentioned this.  and additional info.. i didnt loose any weight instead, i gain some kg.  i am 47kg now! what the eff??

5. 50gm of 916 or 999.9 - i bought but dont know how many

6. save for rainy days. - i didnt save. i spent instead.  kihkihkih


2017.  what i wish in 2017?

1. i still wanted buy a house of my own.  instead of depend on someone else to find for me, i think its time for me to do it myself.  i cannot depend on people for the rest of my life kan?

2. since i am a PG, i wish i can defense my proposal by the end of 2017.

3. participate in 4 10km running events. lose some weight and fat..

4. live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment of my life.


that's all! to be frank, i just dont know what i want.  i just want to live my daily life without worrying about anything and live happily..

ok that all for now.  i have to go since it is 3.53am in the morning.

tata 2016?

2016 will soon leave us. i haven't finalise my new year resolution.

so what should be the ideal and realistic new year resolutions for me? 

adoi! for sure.. running will be in the list. bucket list maybe!

new chapter

woke up in the morning with the new chapter in life. time flies. u r someone that i dont know now.

u dont need me anymore. or in actual fact.. u never needed me in ur life. 

its true that people change. and little that i realise this hurt me much. it hurt me badly. so badly.

Hati yang kau sakiti

You broke my heart into pieces sampai saya tak tau macamana nak cantum balik. Sampai saya tak tau macamana baikinya. Sampai saya tak tau nak buat apa..

Hati saya hancur berkecai awak buat.. Saya tak tau macamana nak hadap awak.. 

Kenapa keputusan itu yang awak buat? Kenapa? Awak dah betul2 fikir? Apa yang awak nak sebenarnya?

Awak.. Saya betul-betul kecewa dengan awak.. 

Tahun ke 10 tanpa ayah.. Ayah.. i wish u here.. I really really wishhhhh..

sometimes

sometimes.. i just dont understand myself..

sometimes.. i just dont know what to do..

sometimes.. im torn between reality and fantasy..

sometimes..

everybody have their own life to live. period.

what?

waiting is killing. so stop waiting and eventually u wont kill urself.

what i want now?

someone asked me. 'after all, what do u want now?'

my answer was.. 'a companion of life. and a simple life'

what more important to me is a companion of life. 

when u go back home, u feel happy. not dragging urself to home. someone to talk to when u feel like talking. someone to nag to when u feel like nagging. 

dont let anyone decide urlife. u decide what do u want.

Another date in another year..

I am a year wiser. hope so! 

Thank u to those who wish me yesterday. I'm so touched. Seriously. I did'nt reveal my birth date on FB. So there is no notification pop out yesterday. Somehow.. there are people who remember my birth date. 

Only those who knew you well does not need FB to remind you your birth date. 

Once again, from the bottom of my heart.. thank you for all the wishes.  I'm so blessed that I have all of you as my family and friends.

To my BFF, UZ. Thank you for the super duper expensive candle! Yes! I don't need a cake when I have a Red Velvet Cupcake Candle. Hehehe..

To my Hannim, Anja, Kakak, Hana and Izz. Thank you for the suprise.  Indeed i'm suprise! Eventhought the cake is lousy, but the thought is count ok!

To Fyda. Thank you for the wish. Our friendship does not count with gift but it count by our sincerity.

To Mama, Kaka, Amad, Mira, Icat and Kak Long. Thank you for the wishes.

To my NPD Ladies Counterpart. Hahaha.. Its ok you guys does not remember my birth date! Dont feel guilty ok! Anyway! Thank you for the wishes guys! And gossips!

To my DBA friends. Thank you for the wishes even we just knew each other..

To my Kelas Atasan Friends. Thank you for the wishes. We are not always togather but we know we have each other..

To AAS. Thank you for the bouquet and dinner and gelato! Oh not forgotten.. You owe my pressieeeee!! Hahaha.

All in all. It just another date in another year.. I'm blessed and happy even i've to go through the sleepless nights.. the endless stress.. But i know.. i'm not alone...

i flop!

this entry is wrote on 20.4.2016 . due to some error it doesnt publish. sigh! and i just notice it today.

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do u know what is the most teribble feelings?

when you flop your test. not all people have that kind of feeling but i do. 

being no so popular child.. being the most tak pandai child.. will make u have that feeling..

u tried ur best to be like your pandai siblings.. but somehow.. u always failed ur exam.. u didnt manage to get all the A's in the exam.. 

and it will hunt u.. wherever and whenever u r.. even u has the highest cert compared to ur siblings now.. it hunt u.. the feelings..

note: i flopped my test last nite! im so down and demoralise. 

bila orang tanya..

bila orang tanya aku.. aku sambung blajar apa.. as in aku ambik course apa.. honestly.. aku malu nak jawab kat orang tu yang aku sedang buat doctrate..

bukan sebab aku nak tunjuk pandai atau pura-pura bak low profile ke.. sesungguhnya tidak.. tapi.. lebih kepada

1. aku segan nak bagitau orang.. buatnya aku withdraw?? nauzubillah! mintak-mintak dijauhkan..

2. aku tak suka nak bg org pikir aku pandai sedangkan aku tak pernah rasa aku pandai.. haih! i wonder how i survived during my MBA's days

3. aku tak pernah rasa doctrate ni sesuatu yang perlu dibanggakan.. dulu ya.. aku bangga dapat buat degree.. sebab tujuan aku masa tu lain.. sekarang ni tujuan aku lebih kepada nak dapatkan ilmu.. nak belajar.. nak manfaatkan ilmu..

4.  aku tak rasa perkataan doctrate tu perlu di bold italic blink blink font 72! aku tiru ayat dr kamril tu.. aku setuju dengan dia.. buat doctrate ni lebih kepada merendah diri.. bukan nak tunjuk hebat.. habis belajar pun belum lagi dik non.. tak payah nak lagak sangat..

hang in there Net! the journey just started..

Bali Revisited 27 Feb - 3 Mar 2016

Finally im on vacation! lalalalalala

its an unplanned trip. we booked the tickets on November 2015. Yeah! it cost us fortune for the tickets. 

Even qoutes said that 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Somehow unplanned thingy could turn out to something great and memorable... ehem ehem! this is not apply to all occassion ya!

Here are the things that we did in Bali..

Day 0

arrived in bali nearly 10pm. my flight was delayed 10mins. so the other fella have to wait for me.. our tourist guide waited for us at the airport and send us to our hotel, Kuta Eco Stay, Jalan Pantai, Kuta. we are very lucky tho! the hotel surrounded with nightlife in Kuta.  since we arrived nearly midnight and hungry, so we decided to buy some foods and drinks at the mini mart nearby. oh ya! it is a budget hotel.

Day 1

no breakfast (we are cheapskate. we just ate bread we bought from the minimart)

our journey starts at 9am and our first destination is batu bulan watching barong dance.  the entrance fee is rp100k per head.  the barong play represent an eternal fight between good and evil spirits.

next is tegallalan located at ubud.  tegallalan rice terrace or sawah padi bertingkat. after snap some photos, we moved to kintamani to have our lunch with the volcano view.  the entrance fee per head is rp20k.

after we have our dinner we go to mani abian also at kintamani.  it is a coffee shop selling coffee such as coffee bali, varieties of tea and coffee luwak

we end the tour day and arrived at the hotel 6.30pm.  since its still early, me and my roommate decided to stroll around Jalan Pantai, Kuta.

my tourist guide said McD, KFC and Burger King are halal in Bali.  yes! i bought McD for dinner.

Day 2

ate McD leftover for breakfast.

Day 2 is our beach day.  we said to our tourist guide just bring us to any beach in Bali.  so he brought us to tanjung benoa.  it is a sailing and paragliding location activities.  since we are not into that, we decided to go to other places.

then he brought us pantai nusa dua, free entrance.  pandawa beach, entrance fee rp10, dreamland beach entrance fees rp10.  the wheather is toooooooo hot! we give up on pantai.  oh ya! we didnt mandi at the beach.

since it is still early, we asked the tourist guide to bring us to any mall.  we need air conditioner!  its too heaty.

then we moved to uluwatu to watch the kecak dance.  entrance fee to enter uluwatu is rp20 and rp100k to watch the kecak dance.  kecak dance is kind of ritual dance.

then, we had dinner at jimbaran beach.  the food is so so.  nothing to shock about.  however the view and the service is superb! personally, to me Sandakan is the best place for seafood dinner.

Day 3

as usual.  breakfast on the go.

first to tanah lot.  snap photo. thats all.

after that to den pasar for shoooooooping!!!  agung bali and krishna is a place to shop for souvenir. you dont need to bargain. its fixed price and its cheap.

we end the day with strolling at Jalan Pantai, Kuta and guess what.. we had dinner at Jamie Oliver's restaurant!

Day 4
back to Malaysia!

and here are the cost per person for lodging and transport:-
flight ticket - RM480
hotel - RM100
transport - RM100